Jei (takaishihoshi) wrote,

No cut for you,

I've been thinking about this all morning.

If I can get the five hundred for the month. Don't make faces at me, you know who you are. I'm calculating here

And then the three hundred + on Friday.

Plus, the vacation pay. Which is like a thousand

And then my 401K cash. Which will be like 1200-1500

And then my last checks, which could equal 2000 around.

My bank account could shoot up to over six thousand dollars, and I could quit my job and survive a good 4-5 months without one.

But, still I'm a little afraid. Not having an income come in is very scary. And as much as those first two amounts seem like nothing compared to the other three... Every little bit makes this decision less scary. As silly as that sounds.

I'm sure I could easily find some kind of job within a month. It probably wouldn't be at the 16.85 an hour I was making. But, it would probably help my sanity and exhaustion. And the fact that, I probably wont be seeing anything other than nights and graveyards really annoys me.

It also sucks that this job is keeping me from seeing friends and family. I haven't seen my mother since the week of Thanksgiving. guilt And I cant because I work all these funky ass hours. And when I do get days off, theres no point in driving over 400 miles if my mother has to go to work in the evening anyway.

And the fact, that I don't get to spend much time with the person I love, sucks monkeyballs too.

I talked with a staffing agent person. Who pretty much said she could find me something at around 15 an hour. Yay degree and yay tons of management experience.

I really just want to go back for school too. Take like a class a day or something. It would make me feel much better that I'm moving on with things.

But, the fear is still there. The whole reason I'm such a scrooge with money is that fear. I've gone through not having anything too many times to not feel this way. I'm finally getting my debt paid down. I'm down to owing less than 1500 dollars. And, can see the horizon. My car only has a year and a half on it, if I pay the lowest amount. Which, I don't.

It's a nice thought...I don't want to screw this up.
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